restless

I haven't quite felt like myself this week. It's been strange. I feel as though my inner narrator is dead or sleeping, as if I have been living without inner subtitles. Very little conscious introspection, like there normally is. Even as I'm sitting here typing this, I'm having a hard time coming up with something important to say...which is kind of not like me.

I guess, I haven't been sleeping the best. I keep dreaming about my mistakes and now I'm even seeing them in real life. It's so difficult to look back in regret but at the same time know you did the right thing. I don't know why it's been bugging me so much lately, but it really has.

I've been searching for and in need of rest. This week I've sort of just been bathing in my own distractions. Sometimes that's easier than confronting the problem I don't want to think about or don't know how to fix. But the truth is, the distractions are getting old. And I'm just becoming more and more restless.