This song encompasses what I hope for in the year of 2011. That even though I am frightened and confused, I would learn to value each moment that I'm alive and learn what it means to change, move, grow, learn, become. This year I want to depend on my friends more and keep myself from expecting them to make me feel understood. I hope that this year I'll figure it out, that I'll not just mature but learn to let go of certain things in exchange for a renewed life. I've made a lot of mistakes and my compass has been spinning, but I think it'll all get better if I want it to, because in the end there really isn't another choice.
To those of you who I've hurt this past year, please forgive me. I'm sorry for my immature, fearful, hyper-sensitive, victimized attitudes. I've thought of so many excuses for my behavior and put the blame in everyone else's hands but mine. I've become unfortunately good at being alone, and now I'm feeling the burn of some of my friends come close again. Because of that burning, I know that I need to make some changes. Yesterday I didn't have much hope for change- on New Year's Eve I felt myself wanting to want to carry through and really mean what I resolved to do in 2011. But tonight, if there's one resolution I need to carry out this year it's this: I resolve to lay my weapons down.
I don't know about you, but I'm thoroughly glad that 2010 is over. I don't want to waste my time or yours by rehashing it all again. I think it would be for the best if I would do whatever I can to just leave things where they lie and focus on healing, moving, rekindling my friendships, mending what I can, and resurrecting what good there is left in me.
"Find the words that make it right again
Calling birds help you make it through the night
It's just enough to find a way to open up once again
And learn to take all the beauty that's inside
We'll ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
At least we live tonight
At least we live tonight
Scream out loud
Until you feel again
And hear the sound of how to heal an aching heart
And those that know you most
Can help you to live again
So keep them close
As you're making your new start
We'll ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
At least we live tonight
At least we live tonight
The day you finally turn to dust
And finally hear your name
Brings colors that will never fade away
Sometimes the best in all of us
Can still break down and still give up on love
But it's never gone
We'll ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
At least we live tonight
At least we live tonight"
- Ring The Bells by Satellite
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