The last week has been good. I've been thinking about a lot of different things- trying to figure out what I want to do and why. I'm coming to better understand who God is. And by that I mean, I'm figuring out that all the words I've used to describe God and all the things people have to say about Him, are just that- words. Empty words. I don't think any of it has ever meant anything to me because they were never my own words- never my own beliefs, but theirs. And, I've come to know that other people's opinions are hazardous to me- not that what they say is hazardous, but that what I do with their words is. I'm easily persuaded most times, and am constantly being trapped into thinking that everyone else's thoughts and opinions are more valid than mine. I hide behind what they have to say. Don Miller is helping me to realize who God is and that all the methods and formulas in Christianity and the church never originated from Jesus. He doesn't operate under step by step programs, but solely on love. I'm glad to hear that, because step by step programs make me nervous, especially when insisted upon by the church. I've never been someone who is interested in theology. I think that's because it reminds me of politics. I don't believe that people are meant to fit into hypotheses or theories or formulas, and I've never been an advocate for the easy answers, and especially the easy advice-givers. I get really upset when Christian authors write books that are essentially them giving you the keys to getting rid of some behavior or attitude through a step by step, chapter by chapter process. "Just do this or don't do that and you'll be redeemed." No. That's not how it works.
I know that I've been looking at God through the glasses of resentment and guilt. I've believed that He is angry with me, disappointed in me, not interested in me because I have not been living up to "Christian standards" or talking to Him much at all. I'm realizing now that that mindset is a trap. He only wants good for me. Only. He wants me to get better. He wants me to be healed from my mistakes. He wants me to stop ducking Him. Not because it's the "right" thing to do, but because He loves me. Don Miller was saying that He came to save sinners. He came TO save sinners. He didn't come to FIX sinners or make all of us into some kind of robot Christian who recites all the right answers. He came to SAVE. If I need to be saved from something, it means that I can't save myself- I need someone else who is outside of my problems to reach into the midst of it all and pull me out. He came to save, because He loves us. He came to save SINNERS- not the righteous. He didn't come so that He could save the good ones from the rest of us who just can't seem to get it right. He's not concerned about how the world sees us- that has never mattered to Him. He doesn't care what church we're attending or if we're attending at all- He only cares about our hearts, about being in a relationship with Him. He came TO SAVE SINNERS from an eternity wherein we cannot be in relationship with Him. He came to save us from an eternity devoid of Himself. He doesn't operate on formulas, but on relationships- on love. When He was walking around earth, that was all He did- build relationships, forgive, heal, touch people. He didn't go around telling them they needed to complete a checklist of things in order to be His follower. Jesus doesn't use paperwork- He doesn't need it. All He wants is our sincerity in loving Him.
So yeah, heh, that's what I've been learning...
No comments:
Post a Comment